Fan In Van

These players suck, period

That’s it, I’ve had it. I’m sitting in an unfavourable position in all three of my hockey pools and it’s thanks in large part to some players who should be my dependable contributors and are not producing enough. We’re now a quarter way through the season and if these players don’t kick it into gear soon, I (and other fantasy owners) are going to punch a big fat hole through our computer screens.

Shawn Horcoff - Are you kidding me with this, Shawn? If you’re being paid like a front line centre you damn well better produce. Plagued by a couple nagging injuries or not, Horcoff’s three goals in sixteen games are laughable at best. And while he’s not terribly far off his career high of 22 goals, the Oiler is nowhere near his career high of 73 points set back in 2006.

Martin Havlat - Seems like inconsistency among vastly talented players is a trend continuing in Minneapolis. After Marian Gaborik skipped town, Havlat came in and has been absolutely… invisible. Two goals is bad, even for Havlat, who has missed an umpteen amount of games.

Jonathan Cheechoo - Alright, so this might not be so surprising. But seriously, I have never seen someone crash this hard since Britney Spears’ head-shaving days. Cheechoo once scored 56 goals in a season. Now, he’ll be lucky to get 56 goals combined in the remainder of his career. And with only one tally this year, something tells me the former Rocket Richard winner won’t be around much longer.

Pavel Datsyuk - Okay, I get it. Datsyuk may have been battling an injury, and yes, Detroit as a whole haven’t been great this season, but this sickly talented Russian is better than a point per game. Over the last four seasons he has scored 87, 87, 97, and 97 points. Fantasy owners, don’t give up faith, but boy has Datsyuk been unspectacular this season.

Bryan Little, Alex Burrows - What do these two have in common? Both normally play with stars but those stars were sidelined for long stretches. Where Rich Peverley has been a star in Atlanta, Little has been a dud

thus far. Lots of people expected Little to build on his 51 points last year, but the third-year winger must have really missed Ilya Kovalchuk here. As for Burrows, his measly empty-net goal in the last 17 contests is alarming. It’s likely Burrows has sent Daniel a thousand get-well cards and carnations by now.

Oli Jokinen - Some people just can’t take the heat. Olli, maybe you were better off staying in Florida. It looked like a shrewd move by Darryl Sutter at last year’s deadline, but in 38 career games as a Flame, Jokinen has potted ten goals. He might also be the league’s worst fighter. Ever.

David Backes - This one…. oooh, this one. David Backes, you are single-handedly causing more pain than H1N1 at this point. Seriously, David? ONE goal in eighteen games? If you’re not going to get close to last year’s 31 goals, at least drop the gloves more often and get us some penalty points. But three points this season is absolutely incredible it’s beyond comprehension.

(Dis)Honourable mentions: Alex Kovalev, Kyle Wellwood, David Krejci, and pretty much anyone playing for the Carolina Hurricanes.